Jar Jar Binks Must Die!!!

   When the Star Wars Prequel was officially
dubbed "The Phantom Menace" people were
saying, "What the hell does that mean?"  Now
that the movie was released and became No. 1
in theatres people are still saying it.  Having
seen it myself I believe I now have the answer:
The Phantom Menace is Jar Jar Bink's potential
popularity and the chance that this jigsaw genetic
goober from a race of critters with bad Jamaican
accents will be in the rest of the first trilogy.

   I respect George Lucas, after all he gave
us the first Star Wars trilogy and created ILM
one of the most respected special effects houses
around.  However, like with James Cameron,
his reputation has been a bit damaged by allow-
ing such a horrible cinematic blunder into an
otherwise brilliant movie. (in Cameron's case
"Titanic" WAS the blunder)  I mean sci-fi is
having a hard enough time being recognised as
a serious genre in the public eye as it is without
brain-dead comic relief interfering.  C3PO was
smart (not very swift, but smart) at least, and
the ewoks were, well, in budget.  So...

Just say NO to Jar Jar.

Top Ten Things
to do to Jar Jar

  1. Feed Jar Jar to the Ewoks.

  2. Tie dynamite around his body and claim he was a
    Palistinian extremist.

  3. Lock the Gungan in a small room with the neurotic
    C3PO until one of them comits suicide.

  4. Encase Jabba the Hut in carbonite and drop him on
    Jar Jar.

  5. Lock Jar Jar in a room with his target audience
    (5-6 year olds) and watch'em tear him to shreds.

  6. Darth Vader: "Tonight I dine on Jar Jar soup." (Let's
    see who gets this one :) )

  7. Paint a thermal detonater red and tell him it's an apple.

  8. Make Jar Jar lick a light post on the ice planet Hoth.

  9. Coat him in wookie pheremones and put him next
    to Chewbaka.

  10. Delete All: Jar jar?

Under Construction

Jar Jar Binks, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars, Phantom Menace, so on and so forth 
are copyright of Lucasfilms.  You should know the drill by now, but if you don't
you will be visited by a crack team of lawyers wearing white ceramite armor.

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